The High Price of Bad Living

• High cholesterol
• 
  
• High blood pressure
• 
  
• Depression
• 
  
• ADHD
• 
  
• Need more Omega-3’s
• 
  
• Need Multi-vitamin
• 
  
• Need B-Complex

To be honest this sucks… I HATE the fact that I have to take almost all of these pills! (some are for vanity only :D)

No I am not blaming anyone but myself for any of this. I just had no idea how bad it's gotten.

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago and got my blood work done. Last week I had my follow up appointment... Nothing really new about the high blood pressure but it had gone down, so yay! But he wants to keep me on my current dose. Well it's not setting me on fire, so why not!?!?

The thing that really scared me was that my cholesterol had gone up to the point of concern... Say what??? (goodbye yummy fried foods, I should have never met you in the first place) Oddly my good cholesterol was really high as well... Glass is half-full! (not really, but if I cant look on the brighter side, I would go crazy)

My heart... It's beating way too fast, but it is healthy and getting all necessary nutrients and is happy. It also turns out that I have a natural resistance to heart-disease! I was really surprised  But I do have a chance of a heart attack, a bit more that someone my age should. So I was put on a low dose coated aspirin. 

Turns out my Omega-3 fatty acids are super low, so he wants me to take 3 capsules a DAY! My hair is gonna look so good!

Also I am vitamin D deficient. So he gave me a super dose of it that I only take once a week. 

Onto the pictures and explanations!

1. This is my vanity pill, it's Hair Skin & Nails, it tastes horrible, I choke on these on a daily basis... Sigh the price of beauty...
2. Fish Oil! (2 of 3 for the day)
3. Multi-Vitamin for the Ladies (why am I taking this then???)
4. Losartan (100mg)
5. Aspirin! It has a cute heart on it!
6. Amlodipine (10mg)
7. Pee Pills! Hydrochlorot(???) 12.5mg. They make me got potty a lot!
8. Benazepril 20mg
9. Birth Control! (did you know that women dont actually NEED to have periods???  No more period for me!!!)

1. Fish Oil (last one of the day!)
2. Fluoxetine 40 mg (keeps me not depressed, but I seem to be less creative)
3. Astrovastatin 20mg (Cholesterol, makes me achy...)
4. Hair and Nail and skin (yuck..)
5. Straterra 100mg (it used to keep me super focused and my appetite down... it doesn't seem to be working anymore :(   )

The AM side and the PM side, quite overwhelming to look at...

The whole shebang... It sucks...

Basically, eat well and exercise! My biggest problem is eating when I am bored and not thinking about it. Whenever I eat I have to remember to stop myself and think, AM I REALLY HUNGRY??? Most of the time I am not. I HAVE to evaluate what my stomach is feeling VS what my brain is thinking. It is hard, especially if you are dumb enough to have junk in the house and just unconsciously eat while watching a movie or reading.

I am trying to battle unconscious eating by having portioned out snacks (max flavor, min calories and carbs!), or I have to MAKE something. 

When I have to make something my laziness wins out over my 'hunger' and I go find something shiny to distract myself with.

Wish me luck!

P.S. My daily carbohydrate intake is going through it's first reduction, 60 carbs a day. Also, when I eat I have to have it at less than 20% of my daily sodium. I am looking forward to strawberries in my salad tomorrow!!!

Weight, Weight! Don't Tell Me! Part 2

Part 1 Here!

Finally I met with my doctor on Monday the 13^th YAY!!!

Originally I had waited for almost two hours for him. But he was needed to assist in a surgery and it really could not be helped. I was a bit miffed at the time, but these things happen…

So Monday, I got there right when I was supposed to (drop off by my mother, wonderful woman). And was immediately whisked to the tiny room to see him. I was nervous but tried to keep my cool by re-reading “My Antonia” (which I highly recommend!)

He came in and introduced himself. He came off as a bit brash and very straight to the point.

His first point was that the Lap-band is a tool. Not a magic cure. He explained that I would have to show self restraint and discipline. I nodded vigorously, I had already known this, but I liked that he wasn’t preaching it as an end all be all to my obesity…

He then noted that I was on Medicaid. And said that he makes no money from patients like me. This scared me, I thought that he would tell me that he would not be able to help me (which I understand, but would stink since I had already gone through a lot to get here). He said that he does this for charity, the process will gain him no profit, would not even cover the cost of his staff. But this is something that he wanted to do. He likened it to taking from the rich and giving to the poor. I really liked that analogy.

He said that if I was a responsible patient, came in for meetings with him once a month, did as he ordered, and well just showed some common sense and decency then he had no problem doing this for me and being my doctor. If I was going to miss appointments and flake out and not give a crap basically, then I need to stop wasting his time. (No problemo, Doc!)

I said that that is more than fair, and that his terms were so. He had my word that I would be a good patient because this is something I want so bad.

After we shook hands he left immediately and I was to meet with my advocate after getting my blood drawn.

Upstairs I went to get my lab work processed. The gentleman who took it was so nice, we both complained about a case of the Mondays (I had tried to get off at two different floors that were not my floors, many laughs were had). And I went back down to meet with my advocate again. She ran an EKG on me, which kind of stank mostly because I HATE being without my bra. She then went over everything with me.

Medicaid Criteria:

·         I have a BMI over 40 (43 actually) and hypertension. (Yay? Not really)
·         I will have to be on a 6 month weight loss program with my nutritionist and doctor.
·         Cardiology clearance (passed)
·         Sleep study (I am fairly certain that I do not have sleep apnea, but who knows? I can’t really tell how       well I sleep, but Justin says that I don’t snore or anything)
·         Psychiatric evaluation (kind of scared by this since my new attitude to food but I’ll open that nutshell       here at a different time)
·         EGD (endoscopy, did that)
·         If I have an ulcer (I don’t, yay!)
·         Drug and alcohol screening (none, thank you)

Seems that by Medicaid standards, I am good to go!

Now I found out that Medicaid does not cover three big things, your nutritionist, your psychologist and your Lap-Band adjustments.  

• In total (my) Nutritionist will cost $400.

Cost	Appointment
150.00	Initial Consult
100.00	1st Group Follow-Up
No Charge	2nd Group Follow-Up
150.00	3rd Group Follow-Up
No Charge	4th Group Follow-Up
No Charge	5th Group Follow-Up

Any food costs will have to also be out of pocket. I may be able to submit my receipts to Medicaid for reimbursement. This appointment will be on the 27^th at 8:30am! I am so glad to be able to get the ball rolling! Honestly I can’t wait to talk to her and see what we can do together.

• In total my Psychologist can cost anywhere from $150.00 to infinity. If we deem it necessary that I only need one appointment then that will be that. If she thinks we need to discuss things further, it will be $50.00 for each group meeting (I can’t be crazy by myself? I have to infect others around me???) I am a bit nervous about this, but I feel that I am in a good place mentally to be doing the Lap-Band.

• Finally, it will cost $50.00 for each adjustment to my band. My advocate advised me to just bring $50 every time I go and assume that I will need an adjustment each time. (Better safe than sorry really) I was a tad miffed, but what are you going to do? I am not sure how often I will need to go for post-op care, but I will let you know when I find out.

After signing what seemed to be at least 100 pages of consent forms and acknowledgements, we had finished! I told her that since I had a flexible schedule at the moment, I would like to get everything out of the way ASAP. She was happy to hear it and scheduled my EGD and Ultrasound for the day after next (Wednesday).

I would have to be there at 5:45am and not eat or drink anything after midnight. (Fine, I think I can live with that)

NOPE! Chuck Testa! They had to reschedule me for Friday at 8am… I called twice and confirmed. Yep Friday at 8am. Radiology called and asked me a ton of questions. The pre-op nurse called and asked me a ton of questions. A guy named Dave called me and told me that if they had found anything funky going on with my gallbladder that they would be running another test on me that day.

Thursday hits and my appetite had returned with a vengeance rarely seen outside of a Tarintino movie. I wanted something salty and BAD! Two Totino’s three meat pizzas later in the evening, I ceased eating hours before my required time. I was gulping down water realizing how dumb it was to have something so darn salty that day before I can’t drink for most of the day… Not my brightest move…

Part 3 coming soon...

Ponies, EGD's, and Hot Air! Oh my!!!

Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me (pt.1)

I have to admit that I have a HUGE lazy streak. If there is an easy way to get around doing actual work, I already know about it.

( as I am writing this, I am staring open mouth at Gilmore Girls instead of actually writing… Why is Rory so damn cute??!?!? I wish I was that cute… I wish I could work like Lorelai… ugh!!!!)

It has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion.

Sadly my laziness has given me the wonderful gift of obesity… I hate that word so much. Not just your regular, run of the mill obesity, no, the full on size 26 morbid obesity!!! I actually had hit around 312 at one point. I hate this so much. I like curves, but my curves are lumps, horrid bulging lumps.

I know enough not to go on fad diets, starvation or eating once every 15 minutes… Sucked bad…

First time I tried to starve myself it lasted about an hour…. 

The next time I lasted a little over 20 hours…

SO anyway…

Saw my doctor for other various health problems and he has been saying that Medicaid will soon be making people who don’t loose enough weight to get weight loss surgery.

I thought about it long and hard… Consulted with Mom, Dad, Justin, even tried to ask Mark (at 3 he is understandably not concerned.)

Seems that Monday I have my first meeting, I can’t wait!

UPDATE: my insurance just dropped me…. Damnit… I can't wait to be on the phone for hours...

Here is a squirrel I stole from Reddit...

GRRRR!!

I am shakey and angry! and WEAK! I have suddenly lost all motivation and energy... I think I just applesauce crashed...

Now I know why skinny bitches are bitchy, they are always mad from not eating!

I used to love this feeling of hunger/emptiness, but am kind of hating it right now...

Still have to do wii and ea active... GRRRRRR!

Livestrong!!!

First of all,
I AM PISSED OFF!!!
Some assmonkey decided to stick a screwdriver or something sharp in my mom's tire!!! Thanks a lot! Seriously, if you are that bored go masturbate or something! Why take part in senseless vandalism???

I guess this is what we get for going to Wal-Mart...

/end rant



In other news,
Thanks to my ADHD and Depression medications, I have found the motivation to tell my fat to go to hell!
I hope it keeps. The longest I was ever on a fitness kick was two months. Then there was a gradual slowdown, and then not really giving a shit.

I am again using LIVESTRONG.com and their myPlate food diary!
Here is my profile!

Yesterday  I forgot to eat! Thank goodness I had my emergency salad in the fridge!

Busted out my WII Fit and gonna get my move on!  Wish me luck!!!

Daily Noms 4-2-2012

Breakfast was yoghurt!  

It is greek with blueberries on the bottom! It was yummy, but it didn’t fill me up. Tummy was rumbling until noon rolled around.

Since I was in crazy starvation mode, I had some beef and broccoli fried rice. Sadly it was much too salty, and I didn’t eat too much of it. I ate the beef and broccoli and egg, but that was all I cared to put in my mouth. I haven't had any pre-made food in a long time, and things are tasting weird...

I broke down after Mark got home and had four oreos…

Then at 8pm, I had four mini-butterfingers…

I didn’t eat much... I kind of ate crap…

Well tomorrow is a new day and I know I will do good! (I want eggs, bad!)

Does anyone here struggle with eating yummy, yummy things? I find that I have to keep myself occupied in order to not eat. If I get bored I NOM, and that is NOT good. Any tips?

Thank you for your time!

Stay beautiful!!!